Me: Classes start Monday at 8 AM...and the campus bookstore doesn't even open until 9. I don't know when we're supposed to buy our books.
Durnhelm: I'm probably going to buy mine Sunday.
Me: Our bookstore isn't open Sundays.
Durnhelm: Ours is.
Durnhelm: All they do is sit there by the food dish, and they're really ugly. They're really fat, and they have these plain white feathers, and they never wash, so they have these plain dirty feathers. They make the other chickens look smart.
Me: You have to be really stupid to make a chicken look smart.
Durnhelm: And you have to kill them by the time they're 12 weeks old because they get so fat that when they stand up they break their legs.
Me: That doesn't sound very nice. I don't think I'd want to be a meat hen. If there was such a thing as reincarnation...
Durnhelm: That would be the really bad guys.
Me: Exactly. The really bad sinners would reincarnate as meat hens.