Thursday, February 14, 2008

Something Deep

A couple hours ago I took down my journal (I journal somewhat sporadically, I hadn't written anything for 2 weeks) and it randomly opened to an entry from November 11, 2007 that I thought I'd share with you. (Note: this entry is slightly edited for clarity and brevity)

Dear God,

"Happy the people who know you, Lord, who walk in the radiance of your face."
Dear one, you are the light of the world. The people who walk in darkness have seen a great light--a light for us in dark places, when all other lights go out.
Darkness is such a weak thing--a single candle can chase it from a whole room. Grant that I may be a little candle, kindled for you, dispelling the darkness of the world.
I am a weak vessel to carry your love. How could I forget you so often, my beloved? Yet I do, and continually you must lead me, gently but firmly, back to the foot of the Cross which is the center of all things.
Thank you for the reminder to give my heart utterly to you.
Dear Lord, I do surrender it to you. I hold no part back. I still wait and long for the BMW* but I could not have given him part of my heart anyway. If I am to love him he must have the whole of my heart. This is a great mystery. How can I love you with my whole heart and yet love these dear ones? Perhaps we trade hearts--I give my heart to you, and then I love them with your heart.
I pray for the BMW, that he and I may both go so deeply into your heart that we find there the perfect love you have planned for us.


So, there you have it. Deep thoughts on love, courtesy of my 17-year-old self.

*Note: This stands for "Best Man in the World", and is my nickname for my yet-unknown future husband.

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