Wednesday, August 6, 2008

At the grocery store

The other day I was making an emergency Wal-Mart run. I, being a genius, picked the line with only one cart. I, being a frequent victim of Murphy's Law, picked the line with the people who had 70 things to check out. While I was standing there waiting, I decided I might as well flip through the nearest magazine.

I'll give you a moment to ponder the utter foolishness of my decision.

Done pondering? Good. My observations on said magazine: All but one of the articles were no more than half a page long. The one article that was longer (about Brad and Angelina's most recent additions to the human race) reminded me of a picture book--a full-page photograph and then one sentence of text. I'm not sure how many pages long it was--I put the magazine back on the rack and watched the nice people in front of me unload their dog food.

What kind of culture do we live in, that magazines written for adults are designed to require no more of an attention span than that of the average five-year-old?

On a lighter note, this is what we were out of that necessitated said emergency Wal-Mart run:




Mom: "David, did you write that?"

Dad: "No, Tammy did."

3 comments:

Immortal Philosopher said...

I read those magazines sometimes, when I'm bored in the breakroom (I don't buy them - I just pick them up off the tables). They're not even reading material. It's like little bite-size fruitsnacks. The little kids can't fit any more in their mouths, so they get super sweet tiny little fruit snacks that give them all the pleasure at none of the cost.

Shakespeare's Cobbler said...

I've yet to look inside any of those things because I've yet to see one that looks like it would not be throwing away modesty of the eyes to do so. And no, that's not because Walmart is worse, it's like that no matter where I happen by them in the checkout lane.

Immortal Philosopher said...

Actually, they aren't so bad inside. Most of the scantiness is on the cover, to get you to buy it, I suppose, but to me it's just repulsive.