Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Bravery

At the beginning of December I referred briefly to the recent difficulties of the Cobbler (namely, having to withdraw from school, recently upgraded to having to take a semester at community college) and then proceeded to be absolutely silent on the subject.

You see, I still haven't figured out a way to make this situation not be awful, and just the thought of a "Wah, I miss my boyfriend" post made me cringe. There are plenty of couples I know who are in worse straights in terms of long-distance relationships. Whining about not being able to see the Cobbler at least twice every day (our habit when we are both at Franciscan) seemed a deplorable sign of weakness. I tried to give myself a lecture to the effect of "Buck up and be a man about it," but this failed miserably.

The thing is, I'm not a man, and I don't want to be, and I'm starting to think that being sensitive and inclined to process things emotionally before I process them intellectually isn't something I should stuff in a very secure box and lock up in a little-used cabinet of my mind.

So I have decided that I am going to take it like a woman instead, and if I need a bit of cheering up I'll reread snippets of my copy of The Odyssey*. Does anyone not love Penelope? Now that was a seriously long-distance relationship. She had to wait twenty years for her happily-ever-after, pestered by boorish suitors and without the assurance that her beloved was even alive. But she was a seriously clever and amazing woman even while pining away with longing.

So, I am probably going to cry. I am probably going to complain to God (in the singular, since I'm not a polytheist like dear Penelope) that I'm not particularly pleased with this whole waiting half of forever thing. I am probably going to spend most of my time trying my best to be bold and clever so that my beloved will have a spirited woman to trade riddles with him when we are reunited.

*In which book, interestingly enough, "taking it like a man" does not exclude falling on people's necks and weeping profusely.

3 comments:

Em said...

Penelope is the role model for such situations, I concur! And I will be praying for you both -- remember, if you ever need another silly little Ionian (or wanna-be-Ionian, anyway) woman to talk to, I'm only a phone call or an e-mail away. :)

The Sojourner said...

Thanks. I'll keep you in mind if I ever just need to babble. In fact, keep me accountable on that. I've been rather bad at not falling off the face of the planet with my back-home friends.

Galadriel said...

Hear Hear! I admire the way you can talk about your relationship without fear of getting eaten alive by the sappy-police. Maybe this Penelope would do better if she employed the same honesty.

~ Vicki

p.s. I always read your blog, but never comment for some reason.