Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Going out

Shortly before I came back to college, my parents went on a date. When Dad arrived home from work to pick Mom up and found himself in the midst of the chaos that is our family (we're a bunch of odd ducks, we are) he made a comment about this not being a standard picking-up-my-date experience.

It got me thinking about what is a standard dating experience. From what I gather, a "date" can take a variety of forms, but it always involves going out, to the point where "going out" is virtually a synonym. You go out to a restaurant to eat, you go out to a movie theater to see a movie...I'm sure there are lots of other things you could do. It doesn't seem to matter, as long as you're going out.

I've been in a relationship for over 9 months now, and if memory serves I've been on a date once. Maybe twice, if you count the time the Cobbler and I went to a restaurant and a play with my parents, sister, and grandmother.

The other one was over Christmas break, when one of our mutual friends (who is dating the Cobbler's best friend) came to the Cobbler's hometown for a visit, and I came to visit, and the four of us went out. (The two others are bloggers as well, but I won't refer to them by their blog personas because I don't know if they've come out as a couple yet.) It was utterly delightful, but at the same time I found myself oddly...lonely, I guess. I missed the Cobbler's family. Some of the most utterly delightful dinners of my life have been had while sitting around their kitchen table, with his siblings laughing and joking and generally just being a bunch of energetic kids. (His parents are utterly delightful too, though not quite as entertaining.)

Now, don't get me wrong. I'd love to go out with the Cobbler again (of course, I just plain would love to be in the same room with him again) and I'd jump at the chance for another double-date with Those We Do Not Speak Of. But I'd also love to just go to his house and spend an evening with his family. There's a few reasons for this: Firstly, they're dears. I'd want to spend time getting to know them better even if the Cobbler were just my friend. Secondly, they're my potential future in-laws, the grandparents and aunt and uncles of my potential future children. I have to evaluate whether my offspring will be spoiled properly. And thirdly, they're his family, and thus an essential part of who he is...but that's the topic for another post.

4 comments:

Galadriel said...

*cracks up* Those We Do Not Speak Of, eh? ^_^

I have only had a couple proper dates in my dating-time too...but I think I enjoy the lack of family more than you do. People, even my awesome family, make me tired. ):

~ Vicki (if I post more often you'll remember who I am presently)

Erin said...

^ Vick thought the same thing too. And I was already in the know too.
Those we do not speak of. Yes, yes. XD


Well, I've never dated, or fallen in love, but I do know that both my older sisters seem to be pretty glad to get away from us. Maybe we're more obnoxious than Scott's family though. XD

The Sojourner said...

Erin, I was just being secretive for the world at large. I figured the Scribblers already knew. :)

On a more serious note, certainly I don't mean to say that people who are dating should never go out or spend time alone together. I'm just saying it's not the be-all and end-all of a relationship.

You'd think I'd be more on the side of getting tired of people, since I'm very introverted, but oddly that's not the case. Perhaps part of it is that I simply don't get to see Scott's family often enough to get tired of them.

Em said...

My mom always says that one of the ways she knew that my dad was the guy for her was that he synced so well into the family schema. Whether they were alone together or with other people alike. "Going out" implies an act of putting your love out into the world. I like to think that instead, your kind of relationship is putting the world into your love. :)