Saturday, January 24, 2009

Random Thoughts on Love Languages

Yesterday my household coordinator said in passing that she is going to have us, as a household, do the Five Love Languages test. I happen to be familiar with the concept because I read the book on it several years ago. (Back when I would read Lysol bottles just for the sake of reading something. I also read several books on how to parent adolescents which my mother for some reason had about the house. Which made me so much easier to parent.)


I took an online version of the test just now. I'm not sure how accurate it was, though. I tried to be honest, but once you know what the five love languages are it'd be pretty easy to make yourself whatever you wanted. Plus some of the physical touch questions weirded me out.

Combining my current results with what I remember from several years ago, I seem to be pretty much tied between physical touch and quality time. (This might explain why I can sit next to Scott for hours at a time.) Words of affirmation come in third. Gifts are a rather distant fourth. Acts of service pretty much fall off the chart.

If you are very bored, you may read my reflections on this. Otherwise go find something else to read.

Physical touch: I remember scoring ridiculously high on this one the first time I took the test and being puzzled, because I wasn't aware of any particular desire for physical touch. I realized after I went to college that this was probably because at that time I could simply stand in the living room, say "Hug?", and get one. Then I went to college and my little soul shrivelled because nobody was touching me. Then I got a household and a boyfriend. And they all lived happily ever after.

Quality time: I have always understood why this is one of my primary love languages. My particular variation of wanting quality time is, "Please sit around attentively listening to me ramble without expecting it to make sense or come to a point." Or, as a Facebook Piece of Flair says, "People who don't know me think I'm quiet. People who do wish I was."

Words of affirmation: Pretty self-explanatory. My fragile little self-esteem likes being told that I'm beautiful and lovable and all that good stuff. Because I forget if you don't remind me.

Gifts: If you don't know me really well don't try this one. Scott can give me a shiny rock and I think it's the most awesome thing ever. I have previously had people (mostly relatives) give me fairly expensive gifts that simply did not speak to me. I'll be grateful, certainly, and I'll probably write you a thank-you note because my mama raised me right, but it will not make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Acts of service: If your goal is warm fuzzies, don't try this one at all. For me, accepting acts of service is an exercise in spiritual growth. (So, if you want to help me grow in virtue, by all means offer to do things for me.) I'm very independent, for one thing, and have to fight the idea that people are implying I'm incompetent because I occasionally need help. Also, I'm a perfectionist of the "If you want it done right, do it yourself" school.

This concludes Megan's introspection. Return later for actual bloggy content.


Anonymous said...

So what was the link?


Em said...

Hm, I'd never heard of that before. I googled it and a bunch of links came up though! According to one test, I go:
1) Quality time
2) Acts of service
3) Physical touch
4) Words of Affirmation
5) Gifts

Of course, I based mine off of a friendship level more so than a romantic relationship one. But yes, I agree with the gift dilemma -- it certainly is a very touchy issue! :)

Shakespeare's Cobbler said...

Why five? What if there's another one or two out there that just aren't as noted?