Friday, February 20, 2009

Reverence

A long, long time ago, I read this post by Connie's Daughter. I hope Scott doesn't mind me revealing that CD is his mom; it is necessary to make the rest of this post make sense.

Some time after reading it I noticed that Scott does, indeed, almost always have his hands together with the fingers up when he is at Mass. And he never fidgets, that I notice. And I'd probably notice, because I have a very bad case of spiritual ADD and get distracted by basically everything happening in the pews around me. I think I spend about 5 minutes total actually thinking about Jesus at the average Mass, and that's in half-second increments. (Hey, it's 5 minutes more holiness than I'd have if I didn't go to Mass.)

About when I started dating Scott, and thus started sitting next to him at Mass, I decided that I was going to stop acting like a two-year-old and work on not fidgeting during Mass. Whether I can get my mind to stay put is a question for another day, but I can at least keep my body put.

So I folded my little hands (okay, I'm speaking poetically, I have big hands...) and tried really, really hard to not fidget.

10 months later...I am getting better. Slowly. Emphasis on slowly. During the standing-up parts I might actually look reverent.

The kneeling parts and the sitting-down parts are not quite as good. I must admit I don't feel as bad about fidgeting during the homily. It's down the list. Fidgeting during the consecration, though, is something that bothers me. Especially when my fidgeting involves spending most of it only half-kneeling. (You know the thing you do...well, I'm sure none of you do it..., when you've got your bottom on the pew behind you even though your knees are still on the kneeler?)

I didn't get the nudge I needed to start working on that, though, until I read this post over at Faith and Family Live.

I'm tired. Wah, wah, wah. So was Jesus. I have scoliosis. (I do. Mildly.) Wah, wah, wah. I bet Jesus' back hurt worse.

So, my new task for this--whenever--let's say Lent--my new task for Lent is to actually kneel, no cheating, during every part of the Mass that has the congregation kneeling. And, while I'm at it, keep my fingers to Heaven.

If I keep working on these bad habits, I might be able to die and go to Heaven when I'm 120 or so.

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