Thursday, June 4, 2009

Courtship and the water well

I am a longtime follower of Jen at Conversion Diary (The Blog Formerly Known As Et Tu?) and I've been mentally batting around this post since she first posted it.

Today it went click with another idea that's been bopping around in my very cluttered mind.

There have been several times during my courtship with the Cobbler that I've wished we lived a couple hundred years ago, when people hardly ever married outside their little, local community. I am very thankful, of course, that we live in the same state at least, and I can drive to see him; but at the same time I. Hate. Highway. Driving. I'd much rather hop on my horse--hey, while we're dreaming I can have a horse--and trot over to his place, which in this scenario is just down the road a piece.

Not having that luxury doesn't just mean that I don't get to see the Cobbler that often. It means that we have to go to far greater lengths to have what we feel is a proper courtship--one that involves our families. There's simply not enough time during our too-infrequent visits for me to sit around chatting about scrapbooking with his mom, or for him to talk shop (i.e., computer-geek-babble) to my dad. Any proper conversation would have to be as carefully orchestrated as a visit, and goodness knows those are hard enough to orchestrate already.

Enter the water well that is the internet. His parents can't ask the local gossip what sort of girl I am, but they can get an idea of my character from reading my blogs. (Of course, this depends on me being honest in my writing, but one takes that risk in person, too, doesn't one? People aren't always who they say they are.) I can't sit down and listen to his mother talk about her theories education or childrearing, but I can read her blog (which I won't link to here, because of anonymity concerns). We can chat via IM and friend each other on Facebook and do any number of other things. All these things aren't the perfect substitute for the interaction I'd get with the Cobbler's family if we lived in the same village, but it's the best the twenty-first century has to offer (and that best, ultimately, is pretty good).

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