Thursday, September 3, 2009

The Scatterbrained Chef: Hot Chocolate Oatmeal

Today on The Scatterbrained Chef, we will show you how to make a delicious and filling snack (it can also be breakfast!) with everyday dorm room staples.

Step 1: Pour a packet of oatmeal (we use Quaker maple and brown sugar, but any mild-flavored oatmeal will do) into a bowl.

Step 2: Remove half-gallon of milk from mini-fridge.

Step 3: Attempt to dislodge chunk of frozen milk from mouth of jug so you can get to the lovely liquid goodness beneath.

Step 4: Fail at Step 3.

Step 5: Look for powdered milk.

Step 6: Fail at Step 5.

Step 7: Remember that The Scatterbrained Chef's Special Hot Cocoa Mix* is 75% powedered milk.

Step 8: Heap a few generous spoonfuls onto your oatmeal.

Step 9: Go to the nearest drinking fountain and squirt on enough water to cover the oatmeal-cocoa mixture.

Step 10: Go to the nearest microwave and cook for 90 seconds or until desired stiffness.

Step 11: Because you are 4, decide you want marshmallows on your oatmeal.

Step 12: Toss in a handful of marshmallows and stir. They will melt away to nothing.

Step 13: Toss in another handful of marshmallows, because what's the fun of marshmallows if they all melt away to nothing?

Step 14: Eat.

*The Scatterbrained Chef's Special Hot Cocoa Mix will appear in a later episode.


Theocentrica said...

Any mild-flavored oatmeal? What's a non-mild flavor? Si sabes donde puedo comprar preparado comercial para hacer avena de jalapeƱos, digame...

The Sojourner said...

I think you just asked me where you can buy jalapeƱo oatmeal...XD

Becky D. said...

I know this is a late comment but I am your mother so I should be able to get away with it or just ignore me. Creativity in cooking is always good. The marshmallows were a bit overkill to me but then I don't like them. My creativity last night was adding onion soup mix to the rice roni that I had stolen the seasoning packet out of months ago. Everyone loved it. The problem with spontaneous creative cooking is it is so hard to recreate.

DavidD said...

Too funny. I especially liked the part about the marshmallows. You misspelled "powdered", though, in Step 7.

By the way, the onion soup mix rice-a-roni was very good.

Theocentrica said...

yeah, I think hot-pepper oatmeal would be interesting.
Someday I still need to write my hair-dryer cookbook. How to cook when you're in a fire-trap dorm that doesn't allow you to cook anything, especially when you're too tired or sick to walk down the hall and use the microwave. Hairdryers can be used to toast bagels, warm soup, grill cheese, melt chocolate onto peanuts for dorm receptions, and baffle your neighbors by making them hear the thing incessantly and then wonder why your hair doesn't look particularly stunning.

Shakespeare's Cobbler said...

If you can get your hands on an old hot-air-based popcornpopper that you can take the top off and use as a hot-air shooter, that's significantly more powerful than a hairdryer. Just fyi.

We learned this when trying to melt the reconnectors into place after fixing one of our old car's wiring. Somehow instead of being annoyed at our abuse of the hairdryer (or the popper, but we pretty much never use[d] that anymore anyway) mom actually asked why we didn't use her embossing gun. Answer: it simply didn't occur to us that her fancy expensive stampy stuff included industrial strength tools.

Theocentrica said...

yes- but we weren't allowed to have anything of the sort in the dorms. Or hand-grenades, either. Actually, I think they must've forbidden hand-grenades so expressly because of too many Monty Python fans in the student body. At any rate, that dorm was a fire-trap.