Last week one of my household sisters said that something she's found helpful during Holy Week is meditating on the Passion account by thinking, "Who would you be?"
Would you be a member of the crowd shouting for Jesus' crucifixion? Would you be St. John? Would you be St. Peter?
My first thought was, "Well, duh, I'm a Pharisee."
It's something I came to terms with a long time ago. I'm so, so stubborn, and so, so sure that I'm always right...the moment that loony carpenter showed up and started putting on airs, I'd be all about stoning him for it.
But last week a little voice asked, "Would you really be?" And I had to think about it, and decide that maybe this year I'm not.
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm still not St. John; I'm not even Mary Magdalene. But the figure who leapt to my mind when I actually took time to think about it was Nicodemus. Sure, I'm still a Pharisee, but maybe I am just open enough to a God who explodes my categories to take a few moments to listen to that loony carpenter (after dark, in secret). I still mysteriously check out when it comes time for the actual Passion (Do you ever wonder where he and Joseph of Arimethea were when the Sanhedrin was meeting? I read a book by a mystic once that said they were deliberately excluded from the proceedings and didn't find out until after.) But after it's all over I'm back with my oils and whatnot, doing what I can for my Lord.
So, who would you be?