Saturday, September 11, 2010

My two least-favorite films made in my lifetime

A while back, Kyle did a series on his favorite films made in his lifetime.

I made a similar list, which was a lot harder because I am a lot younger than Kyle. :) (Seriously, The Princess Bride was made before I was born. I am crippled by that fact alone.) But you will have to wait indefinitely for that list and my thoughts on the movies because apparently I can't write posts that take more than 5 minutes of concentration.

However, I will give you what was going to be the bonus appendix: The List of My Two Least-Favorite Films Made in My Lifetime.

Please note that I think both of these are respectable as movies. Anybody can make a list a mile long of B-list pieces of garbage filmed by a 15-year-old in his basement, but instead I picked movies which simply went completely against what I personally want out of a movie to the point where I will never watch them again.

1. Miss Potter

2. Becoming Jane

I know. You're all sitting there saying, "But! These are movies about female writers! You're a female writer! You should love them!"

I should, and maybe I would have in the right circumstances, but I didn't. Why? Well, because in Miss Potter the title character has a secret fiance who dies tragically just when she's received permission to marry him, and she can't even attend the funeral because nobody in his family knows she's his secret fiancee. I have since developed a phobia of the Cobbler dying and me not being able to attend his funeral. Thanks a lot, whoever wrote that storyline.

That was traumatic enough, but then a few weeks later I watched Becoming Jane, and guess what happens in that movie? Well, her sister's fiance dies in the West Indies on the eve of THEIR marriage. Also, Jane and her One Twue Wuv are unable to even elope because he has a bajillion younger siblings who will all die wretchedly if he doesn't become a brilliant lawyer, which he can't do if he marries a girl from a less-than-stunningly-wealthy family. I have not developed a phobia of the Cobbler having to become a lawyer to support his bajillion younger siblings (for one thing, he only has four), but it was still kind of traumatic.

Moral I gleaned from these two movies: If you are a female writer, you will NEVER be allowed to marry your true love. Tough luck, ladies.

That's not the kind of message I want to get while munching popcorn.


DavidD said...

I think your phobia is unfounded. But then, that's what makes it a phobia, isn't it?

The Cobbler said...

Why is it that you're more afraid of me dying than of me becoming a lawyer?