Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Liveblogging Monday

This is for Melanie, who thinks she doesn't get enough done. Also, I like doing these "day in the life" posts and haven't done one since March, which was before Scott started his job.

12:00-:4:57: Sleep. (I actually slept from about 10:00 Sunday night, which was kind of awesome.)

4:57: Wake up to use the bathroom. Curse my bedtime water-drinking habit.

5:00: Notice that Scott's legs are very much on my side of the bed. Heroically refrain from kicking him in the shins.

5:00-5:50: Doze fitfully.

5:50: Be woken up by the backup alarm. (Primary alarm = clock radio; backup alarm = cell phone.) Wonder irritably why the primary alarm doesn't seem to be working lately.

5:50-6:00: Get dressed, put cell phone in Scott's jacket pocket so he has it later. (Sometimes I get dressed before breakfast, sometimes after.)

6:00: "Scott?"
"Time to think about waking up."

6:00-6:10: Get breakfast together. Curse my previous usage of muffin papers that now have to be peeled off the egg muffins before I can eat them. (I also have orange juice and a multivitamin, and I don't want to hear about how taking it with breakfast probably makes it useless. It has a psychosomatic effect at least.)

6:10: "Scott?"
"Are you going to take a shower this morning?"
"Okay. You should still get up soon."

6:10-6:13: Wait for Firefox to decide it wants to work while eating breakfast.

6:13-6:21: Liveblog my morning in painstaking detail, forgetting to continue eating breakfast.

6:21: "Scott? Last wakeup call."

6:21-6:29: Remember to eat my breakfast while checking email and Facebook.

6:25: Scott: "Is the bathroom free?"
Me: "Yes."
I hear him open and shut the door from my spot on the Pong chair. (It's not spelled Pong, it's a Swedish thing with accent marks, but we call it the Pong chair so that's how I spell it. We also have The Comfy Chair--diabolical torture device--and the couch.) 

6:29-6:43: Put together Scott's lunch. (An apple; two blueberry muffins from a bag that my mother gave us; a sandwich with mayonnaise, ham, pepperjack cheese, and dill pickles.)

6:43-7:00: Put together Scott's breakfast (a rice and bean dish that we also brought home from my parents' with some of our own salsa added); brush and floss my teeth. (Anybody else who's lived in a 1-bathroom dwelling: I'm not the only one to ever spit my toothpaste into the kitchen sink, right?)

7:00: "I'm going to go start the car. I'm taking your lunch and your breakfast, so don't wonder where they are."
"Ten minutes, okay?"

7:00-7:09: I don't like not being able to nag my husband. I distract myself by listening to the radio.

(This car-starting thing is new since the whole anti-theft system triggering fiasco. I know how to reset it now, but that takes 10 minutes no matter what. Therefore, I go down 10 minutes early.)

7:09: "Yay, you're here!"

7:09-7:18: Drive drive drive.

7:18-720: I stand on the sidewalk holding Scott's lunchbag; he stands next to me eating his breakfast. Usually we both sit in the car and I keep a sharp eye out for the bus, but the weather was nice today and I was feeling restless.
 Scott: *munch munch munch* ... *munch munch* ... *munch*

7:20: "Are you getting full?"
*munch* ... *munch*

7:21: "Like I said, don't feel obligated to--BUS."
I give him his lunch; he gives me his 2/3 eaten breakfast. We manage a quick hug and kiss, and then I head back to the car while he pulls out his bus pass.

(I was going to say "Don't feel obligated to finish." As I had explained to him while we were driving, I gave him a big bowl because better too much breakfast than not enough, am I right?)

7:22-7:32: Drive drive drive.

7:33-8:00: "Coffee break." I finish liveblogging my morning and then read blogs. I do not drink coffee.

8:00-8:22: I start two loads of laundry. After going up and down the stairs my back feels all out of alignment so I decide it is time to sit down and have another break.

8:22-9:02: The internet is very distracting. *guilt*

9:02-9:51: I put my laundry in the dryer, unload and reload the dishwasher, hand wash the dishes that can't go in the dishwasher, and pre-cook some ground beef and rice for dinner tonight.

9:52: I start loading my Sims game while the rice finishes cooking and the stove timer counts down to when I need to check on my drying laundry.

9:52-12:15: I play Sims while finishing the rice, keeping my laundry moving through the dryers, and eating lunch.  

12:15-12:40: Check email, read blogs, blog

12:45-2:45: NAP.

3:00ish-3:40: I go to Wal-Mart and get a birthday card for my nephew, who turned 6 on Sunday. I forgot. In my defense, I have only been an aunt for 8 months, I have not yet had much practice keeping track of these things.

3:40-5:09: I have a little snack, and then remember that I haven't showered since Sunday morning, so I shower and trim my nails and then sit in front of the computer because there's no point starting anything when Scott could call any minute, right?

5:10-5:30: I pick up Scott from the bus stop.

5:30-5:50: We chat a bit and I put dinner together; it is easy because I have precooked most of the elements.

5:51-7:20: I surf the internet sitting on the couch next to my husband, who is playing videogames, while dinner simmers. Once dinner is ready, I eat at the table with a book; Scott eats on the couch. Someday we will have family dinners like civilized people, but at this stage in our life we don't.

7:20-8:02: I work on blog posts other than this one.

8:02-8:18: I work on a sewing project. I like the results of sewing but find the process insufferably tedious, so I make myself do it in 20-minute increments. (Roughly.)

8:18-8:40: I put away dinner and do a general tidy of the apartment, putting misplaced things back where they belong, throwing away junk mail, that sort of thing. This is insufferably boring as well, so I only stick with it for 20 minutes.

8:40-9:01: I work on blog posts some more.

9:01-9:20: I look at the wedding registry of a friend who's getting married on Saturday, thinking vaguely of buying a physical present instead of just giving them a check.

9:21: I abruptly become VERY TIRED. Blah.

10:52: I actually get off the computer. Maybe THAT'S why I'm always tired.

11:20: I actually go to bed, having changed into my pajamas, brushed my teeth (AND FLOSSED), etc.

11:50+: I actually fall asleep.

Like Melanie, I wish I had more balance. I've been stressed out lately by everything and also somewhat depressed (I really think I have some sort of reverse Seasonal Affectative Disorder; summer always makes me feel generally listless far more than winter does.) But spending endless hours clicking around on the internet doesn't help, especially that period in the evenings when I'm too tired to do anything but don't want to go to bed because...I dunno. Because if I stay up maybe I'll feel "finished" instead of restless and bored. I do okay with my Sims, I think, though probably not everybody thinks 2 hours a day of computer gaming is a worthwhile investment in one's mental health. I can walk away from that at the end of my allotment and feel finished and I might even feel refreshed from having had fun, but the internet is rarely like that. Just click click click, waiting to find something that will engage my depleted brain and make me care. (I just reread this paragraph and realized how pitiful it probably sounds. I find it easier to care about little pixel people than real people or anything in the world of real people.)

That probably makes it sound like I'm super depressed. I'm not, really. I'm just condensing all the little moments of not-caring into one big gloomy box.

Would it sound too contrived if I say I kind of want to write a nice neat conclusion to this post but just don't have the energy to think of anything?


Melanie B said...

I gave up on birthday cards for nieces and nephews before I even started. At the time we were married Dom already had I think 13 nieces and nephews. Today we have 18. (I think.) I can't even remember my own mother's birthday! Fortunately, no one seems to hold it against me. Though I do think Dom should send birthday cards to his godchildren, I also think that's his job not mine.

Today I actually had a little burst of energy and made chicken stock (and then homemade soup for dinner) and did several loads of laundry (washed and dried, not folded and hung and put away). I'm wondering if I've been so extremely lethargic since Friday because I was really fighting the stomach bug that all the kids had. I thought it was just more of the same old morning sickness; but last night I got violently ill and then this morning once I'd eaten breakfast I was all ready to go. It can be so hard for me to judge when I'm being lazy and when my body is just refusing to go. I can really only tell in hindsight when I get back to feeling better and then see what a difference how I feel makes to what I can do. (Oh and what I love about both soup and laundry is that they are both tasks that require only intermittent participation from me so I can feel like I'm being productive even when I take a break and sit down with the internet for half an hour. (Though even that gets punctuated by the needs of small people who will need diaper changes and snacks and drinks and to have squabbles broken up.)

I have struggled with depression off and on and I know it can really sap your energy and will to get things done. I wonder if I haven't had some of that too what with my sister leaving and all.

Someday I should try to do a log of my day like this. Maybe I'd feel better about all the things I actually get done when I'm being lazy and "spending the day on the couch."

The Sojourner said...

I am just one of those people who remembers birthdays. (Except when I'm so busy that I can't remember what day it is right now.) Scott is definitely not; he has only the vaguest concept of how old his siblings are and could MAYBE tell you what month each one was born in if he really thought about it.

We only have the one nephew and one niece so far. I guess it might get harder as Scott's younger siblings get of marrying age. And Scott's only godchild is my sister, so I kind of have to send her a birthday card anyway. :)

I've been getting migraines the last two weeks; I wonder how much of my general lethargy is pre- and post-migraine stuff rather than just laziness. (Let's not rule out laziness, though. Laziness is one of my superpowers.)

Believe it or not, I was shocked at how much I got done on Monday. I think one of the reasons I've felt kind of futile lately is because the to-do list NEVER ENDS. When I write down what I did instead of what I still have left to do it feels a little less hopeless. (One of the things I miss about college is the fact that I got hard stops about every four months, so it didn't feel quite so sisyphean.)

Scott said...

I can tell you what month they're all born in; it's a few I can't remember the day, and most I can't remember the year (because I used to just remember the age, but now I've lost track of that).

And someone is clearly not complimenting you enough on the food, the dishes, and the other things that go unnoticed around the apartment. *shiftyeyes*