Friday, August 24, 2012

Seven Quick Takes: Milestones and First World Problems


--- 1 ---

For the past several weeks, Matthew has been THISCLOSE to crawling. According to my mother's most recent Facebook status, he finally figured it out. My mother doesn't believe in using punctuation on Facebook, so I'll paraphrase instead of copy-pasting with last names edited out. (Her lack of punctuation is a lifestyle choice rather than a lack of intelligence, so I'm allowed to make fun of her.)

Earlier today, Matthew was playing on the floor, near Tammy-cat, who happened to be sleeping. Matthew decided that he wanted to pet the cat, so he managed to get up on his hands and knees and start crawling after her. Tammy woke up, saw him coming, gave Mom a look that apparently communicated, "See, I KNEW he was going to start chasing me someday!" and ran away. Matthew was very disappointed that all his work was for nothing.

Also, Mom found the old baby gate and put it up in his room yesterday so he can play in there while she folds laundry or whatever. This is not to be borne; Matthew learned how to crawl for the express purpose of going over to the gate and crying pitifully until he is rescued.

(Somewhat relatedly, my first sentence was reportedly "OPEN THE DOOR!" My mother doesn't remember when exactly this happened, because I was the second child so nobody cared, but she estimates that I was about 15 months old. Strangely, my early start at talking was not a sign of future talkativeness.)

--- 2 ---

Matthew's official first word will probably end up being "Kitty"; both of our parents have heard him say it at some point in the last few weeks. (Dad also claims he says "Dada" meaningfully, but everybody knows that "Dada" and "Mama" don't count unless both parents hear it.)

That's right: All his milestones are inspired by the cats; the rest of us are just chopped liver.

--- 3 ---

Teresa, not to be outdone by her little brother's milestones, apparently learned to read this week (after a year of practicing letters and such). Times like these I wish I didn't live 80 miles away...

--- 4 ---

Last week, Aldi was out of bread (and I was tired and it was late, so I didn't want to go anywhere else), so Scott only had enough bread for 2 sandwiches this week. The other day I folded his lunchmeat into cute little triangle thingies (it's round lunchmeat; what's a quarter of a circle called?) and sliced his cheese into quarters and stuffed them both into a baggie with some crackers and called it Lunchables. Because I can't rid myself of the idea that my husband is 5 and will think something is cool if I give it a fancy name.

He also had to suffer through green apples instead of red apples. I felt bad about that for a little while, and then I remembered that I only think things like this are hardships because I'm the 1% (not in America, but, you know, from a global perspective) and a little suffering is probably good for Scott. Think of all the starving children in Africa who would LOVE to have those apples!

--- 5 ---

When I made my initial grocery list, I calculated it out and would have gone $10 overbudget for the month if I had actually bought all those things. So I slashed it down to the bone and got underbudget. The first thing to go was, of course, the $5 Bucket o' Ice Cream. I whined a lot about that because I was kind of looking forward to it.

I'm sure all the starving children in Africa will weep bitter tears for me as I'm forced to make a pan of brownies instead. (Or possibly another cake. I haven't decided.)

--- 6 ---

I don't like eating the heels of the bread loaf (weep, weep). Scott would probably eat them himself, but I am the arbiter of all that takes place in the kitchen, so I've been stuffing them in the freezer instead. For the last month, little bags of heels have been attacking us whenever we open the freezer, so I figured it was time to do something with them.

My mother will usually make bread pudding, but I wasn't feeling like bread pudding, so I googled around and cobbled together a recipe for something I'm calling French Toast Casserole Bread Pudding, or French Pudding for short. I will post the recipe another time (You: "I have pins and needles that I'm sitting on!"), but I will say right now that it was DELICIOUS. I only made a small amount just in case I ruined it, but I am definitely going to have to make another batch or two.

--- 7 ---

I will let the last word in this post be from Matthew, who was Not Impressed with having to be part of Mom's fall fashion shoot earlier this week.


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