Saturday, June 21, 2014

You had ONE job

A while back, I posted about how before Tad was born I coached Scott that he had one job in the hospital: Stay With The Baby. I made sure to tell him that repeatedly so that if something happened that caused the baby and I to become separated he would stay with the baby reflexively, without hesitation.

Fortunately nothing that dire happened, but he still did an awesome job. He didn't leave that baby's side for the whole 2 days we were there.

It's hard for me to remember this as a happy thing, though, because whenever I do I think of how (even just by implication) I had one job: Feed The Baby. And I messed that one up pretty spectacularly.

This post has no conclusion. I'm just throwing it out into the void in the hopes that it won't come back and I can be rid of that thought that I failed.


geeklady said...

Look at your baby. He's fat cheeked and crawling and laughing and wonderful. You haven't failed him. He is thriving.

The Sojourner said...

I know. I just don't act like I know it.

(I came up with that in therapy one time and it summarizes so many issues I have. In that context I was discussing how I feel like if I let myself be happy then God would come along and dump some suffering on me just to even things out. My therapist isn't Catholic, so I hastened to reassure him that I don't actually believe God is like that at all...I just *act* like I believe it.)