Friday, August 29, 2014

Seven Quick Labor Day Takes

Yesterday was a surprisingly good day for me on the intellectual front. I wrote a blog post and edited two chapters in my neverending novel. (I've been working on it 7 1/2 years now; I should probably accept that it will never be "done.")

I also finally read Something Other Than God. I started it on Tuesday and didn't make much headway but then I picked it up again and powered through and enjoyed it immensely.

I feel like I should have a more thorough review than that, but I used up all my brain cells reading it, so no.

Relatedly, I always thought people were being a bit overdramatic when they talked about postpartum NFP being so hard. (Sorry, Jen!)

Then I had a baby, and PPD, and basically ignored my husband for three or four months because hey, turns out this stuff is hard and makes no sense. (Though it didn't help that I wasn't actually cleared to resume "normal activities"/able to start really charting until 10 weeks pp.)

So I thought, "Oh, I'm just not doing it right, I'll get an instructor." So I called up the lady I'd called back in March of 2013 (we cancelled our original appointment because I found out I was pregnant a few days beforehand) and we took our first ever NFP class and the chart still didn't make any sense so I dutifully went to a follow-up and guess what? My instructor doesn't know what's going on either! (And yes, I did rule out being pregnant again. I was a little scared that making appointments with NFP instructors is what actually gets me pregnant, but apparently that wasn't it.)

So, yeah. Sorry, guys. I judged you and now I am learning my lesson.

I remember why I had such a "productive" day yesterday, with the writing and reading and stuff: The baby has a cold and wants to spend all day passed out on my chest (he's in the mei tai as I type this), and rattling around in the kitchen disturbs him so he wakes up and that's no good. So my dishes are ALLLL dirty but I have a relatively happy baby and I read a book so maybe it's a wash.

Tooth #6 finally broke free on Monday. The rejoicing was pretty short-lived, though, since Tooth #7 is already trying to push through in the opposite corner. (#6 was the bottom right incisor, giving him 2 on top and 4 on bottom; #7 is the top left.)

Tad has been enjoying solid food immensely. He usually has "brunch" around 10 or whenever I need to get something done without him hanging off me, and then he has dinner whenever the grownups do. Brunch can be oatmeal (cooked thick so he can feed himself), fruit (cut into "boats", i.e. half fruits with the cores scooped out) or whatever else comes to hand. Dinner is whatever the grownups are eating. Seriously, he's had potato soup, mac and cheese, chili, and all sorts of other stuff in the last couple of weeks. It's awesome and I'm starting to see how very convenient this whole baby-led weaning thing is.

Random non-toys continue to amuse him far more than his actual toys that he has scattered all over the apartment. The big hit this week was a pot and pan that I got out for him one day so I could hopefully make dinner in peace. It worked.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!


Emily said...

The pot picture is so cute. Kids love non-toys so much. The twins love pots and pans, too.

My NFP experience has been so beyond what I have ever heard/ been told. The last time I spoke to my instructor before terminating our relationship (she could not help me, but was happy to waste my time/take my money over and over so she could get another chance to tell me she couldn't help me), she told me in a rather tactful way that total abstinence seemed like a good choice for us. I called her out on it and she wouldn't word it like that, but to me "not using any days" is total abstinence.
I have recently been reflecting, and this deserves a whole blog post, that the Church needs to be more open about the validity of the option of total abstinence. They want to keep cheerfully throwing NFP at us. The reality is, if you are someone that NFP simply doesn't work for (and I have tried all methods, but I am what I am and no NFP chart tells me what I need to know), total abstinence is where you end up if you need to postpone. Charting without I's is not NFP. It's total abstinence. And before we had the miracle of NFP, that is what we did. Heck, that's what everyone did before contraceptives. So why is everyone so afraid to come out and say it? Is it because in our society, sex is considered a right for married people and even the church has adopted this attitude? I don't know.

The Sojourner said...

My money is on marketing. NFP has to be presented as practically perfect in every way in an attempt to convince people that they should use it, and then people feel cheated once they use NFP and find out that it's not all rainbows and unicorns and getting no-strings-attached backrubs. (I have similar feelings about breastfeeding, honestly. I'm absolutely in favor of it, but I hate that nobody told me it was going to be HARD. "Breastfeeding babies need to eat frequently, sometimes every 2 hours!" the books say, and my kid ate EVERY FORTY-FIVE MINUTES for months. I love him, but my goodness was I not ready for that level of commitment.)

The Sojourner said...

(Although I will concede that a baby who nurses every 45 minutes is a very effective form of birth control. The only barrier method endorsed by the Catholic Church!)

Melanie Bettinelli said...

I love the baby led weaning and the non-toys. I sometimes wish I could get rid of all the toys and just let them play with sticks and rocks. But when it comes to throwing out/giving away toys, I have a hard time living up to my convictions. Making decisions is hard and I'd rather go read a book.

Emily makes a very interesting point about how NFP seems to lead to a downplaying of total abstinence being a valid and sometimes necessary option.

The Sojourner said...

I should probably be ruthless about culling the toys while I can--I'm sure I have precious few years before he starts having strong opinions on keeping toys he never plays with.