Friday, October 14, 2016

Atlas

The other week I was talking with Tad's occupational therapist about various things and at one point I told her how Tad was never really cuddly, not even as a baby--when he nursed he would push himself as far away from me as possible while still staying latched on.

She suggested that maybe I think of it less as him pushing me away and more that he just needs that extra resistance/sensory input of pushing into something. I feel like this is not just a good explanation for his nursing acrobatics but also for his behavior in general. He pushes me (literally and metaphorically) because he knows I'm not going to move.

And it does help, to think of it that way, but at the same time it doesn't change much. It doesn't change the fact that it's utterly exhausting when you're the one solid thing in a universe that somebody else finds utterly confusing and unpredictable.

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